What I learned from "Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less"

Tiffany Dufu wrote "Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less" for women like her. Ambitious women who thought they could have it all. Women who thought they were progressive. Women who were disillusioned to learn that, through social norms, their opposite sex partners were operating on autopilot when it came to managing housework and children.

This book contains the author's deeply personal experience in a way is relatable for most working women who have male partners. By sharing her own story (which involved burnout and resentment), her message can be received in a non-judgmental way. And one of her key messages is right in the title: drop the ball. In other words, allow failures to happen so your spouse, or others, can identify where they need to step up. She also provides guidance on having a transparent discussion with your spouse, including going over the dozens and dozens of household tasks that need to be performed and allocating responsibility (yes, she provides a list). She doesn't vilify men but rather explains the social norms that led us to this place.

One of her main points was that if your partner who loves you and wants what is best for you doesn't realize all the things you are doing to keep your household running, he might not realize how unfair the balance is - and you might not realize the invisible tasks he is in fact performing! Further, once he is made aware, he is probably willing to contribute equally and may have more efficient ideas about how to reduce the workload.

The author weaves in statistics about gender and society but focuses on the practical realities of finding a better way. I highly recommend this book to any woman who feels like her husband is treating her as the default spouse. Who feels like she needs to drop to part-time because she can't do it all (on her own). Who feels like she is drowning in a never-ending to-do list, unable to catch her breathe. If that is you, PLEASE do yourself a favour and pick up this book. Even if making time to read it means you have to drop a ball.

Categories: : Book Recommendation